Following yesterday’s more serious and thoughtful post, my husband has contributed a few of our favourite adages. There were a few minor disagreements over this one, apparently I am a Dragon Lady of an editor! I checked the Merriam-Webster dictionary though and although it defines a Dragon Lady as “: an overbearing or tyrannical woman” it can also mean “a glamorous often mysterious woman”. THAT’s what he meant right?
1.This first one was often used during internal meetings when determining who should do the task at hand. Cannot remember when or where I first heard this:
If you have to get it done – “give it to the busy guy” To be socially correct in today’s world, exchange “guy” for “person”. By the way, I found this to be absolutely on point.
2. Let’s see if this one gets past the Dragon Lady’s editing?
I often used this in response to being asked how busy I was or how was business: My favorite answer….
“I’m busier than a dog with two ***** in a dog pound”!………Obviously could not use this with just anyone. *Edited by the Dragon Lady! No way that was getting by me!
3. Here are a couple from everyone’s mother. When our kids were still at home – somehow we found ourselves using them….oh the shame! No introduction required…..
“It’s in a heap on the floor where you left it”.
The Dragon Lady loves to use this one whenever the spouse sets himself up for this one by asking where something is…..
“This is why we can’t have nice things”.
Our adult daughter loves to give this one back to us with a grating voice whenever we break something.
4. We know we are getting old when we sound like the Kravitzes on Bewitched….”What are they doing now?” ……Source: Thanks to a past loud nosy neighbor for reminding me about this one……
5. This adage is one of my all-time favorites. I was required to work with a lot of lawyers needing legal documentation to be executed. Every organization feared long costly legal negotiations which would beg an obvious question before letting the lawyers hash it out:
“Is your documentation friendly”? Now, I loved when I got this question and could feel my eyes twinkle if I was working with the right relationship that would appreciate my response. The response, offered with a smile and twitch of the head …: “well let me tell you, as long as you are paying your bills there is nothing in there that will hurt you! However, if you are not paying your bills, there is nothing in there that will help you”! I will say that even when I thought I had the right person that would appreciate this, I did not always get the desired response. Source – Mike who was a real Pro
6. In response to a negative barb or sometimes I just needed a good comeback: “May the fleas of 10,000 camels infest your crotch ….this usually brings a rye smile to everyone’s face – are we feeling a bit itchy??? Source – I think it was Johnny Carson. The Dragon Lady doesn’t like this one at all, but she feels bad about editing the dog pound quote, so I’m getting away with this one.
7. Words to a salesperson who loses a deal because they were charging too much: “There’s some for the bulls and some for the bears but non for the piggies! Source – Roger
8. I would use this If I stumbled or fumbled something and was a tad embarrassed: I’ll bet you didn’t know I was a drinker until you saw me sober”! …Source…do not know but probably Rodney Dangerfield
9. Encouraging a speed skater: “Skate fast and turn left”……….probably need to watch speed skating to appreciate this one, but you don’t want to turn right.
10. I use to do a lot of fishing and grouse hunting. If not a successful day (no fish/grouse) and asked did I get any. “No, I was awarded my Greenpeace card”.